you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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