Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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