I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
