Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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