Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
and she was petting her beer can
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
