You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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