remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
