What did we do last night that was yellow?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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