I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I touched a dick in church today
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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