i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's official drugs can't kill me
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
