I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
