yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
