marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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