why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
