is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
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