I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
