y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
