I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
