We won't sleep together?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
