is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We had sex on a dog bed..
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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