babies were throwing up all over the place
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
