I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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