Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
