I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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