Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
