I want to make a zoo with you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
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I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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