I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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