Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
