bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
