"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
