even my farts smell like vagina
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
