she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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