im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
