Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize