I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
