I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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