You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
