Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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