i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
