If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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