He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
3pm strippers are depressing
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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