you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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