Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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