Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
