I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
