I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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