Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
