Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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