If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
