I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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