I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
