I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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