elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize