i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we're making bets on your personal life
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
