have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
