my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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