Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
