What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
