Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
All the doctor said was why
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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