I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
