dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
