so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
