a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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