thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
